Aight all, sit down, grab a snack, Uncle Odin has a wondrous tale of magicalness and bullshittery to share.
I awoke to the pitter-patter of tiny peets demanding cuddles….until what I see is a lump hanging by her tail. I thought oh great….a dingleberry of epic proportions has been dragged across my blankets.
I ask my SO to turn the lights on and what do I see? Flypaper tape tangled all over her butt.
We get her into the tub, kicking and screaming. But the tape proved to be a worthy adversary. It would not yield to soap alone. I consulted the wisdom of the Ancient Ones….Google. and Oil is the key to dissolving the dreaded adhesive.
But what we did not know, was that our next challenger was waiting in the wings.
Kitten a-dampened and blankets in the washing, we set of to bed in what we thought was the end of our battle.
BUT NO, dear readers.
The oil was too strong for us. So we journey to the farthest reaches of the village to locate the legendary cat Dry Shampoo (i know it exists, y’all). Much to our dismay, there was nothing in sight in this dreary backwater town.
We set home, battered and bruised. But also with bagels.
The Norns have smiled upon the Odin, and granted them with a sudden wave of wisdom: Rice! Odin wears a lot of makeup and is knowing that rice is the key ingredient to blotting sheets and ancient facial powders.
So we set off on our grinding adventure, armed with the forces of the Magic Bullet. Now our deer Eris has been gifted with a dust bath, and ever more disgruntled.
What is the moral of the story? Fuck if I know.